Wow, look at you! I turn my back for long enough to move, and you publish two stories--great ones, too--the same day!

I think you're onto something here. Harville Hendrix makes a more general point in his "Imago" writings, that we seek in a partner what we lack in ourselves, but you are zooming in on one of the specific issues that blocks so many relationships from developing real depth.

I think there's one more angle to consider in this dynamic, the one that makes it such a heartbreaker, which is the reason a deeply emotional person can become attached to someone whose heart is unavailable. Speaking from my own experience, I think we see the other's real potential for great love. And we jump through all kinds of hoops to try to coax that love out of its cave, because we know it's there. And because we know we ARE deserving of the kind of love that person could give back, if only he or she were not too much a coward to accept the risk.