What you have written is painful to read, not just because it is honest about an excruciating experience, but because that experience no doubt is shared to some degree by many other women.

As one commenter said, many women have very positive first experiences of penetrative sex. But many don't, and they are told that there is something wrong with them. That absolutely needs to be covered in sex ed.

"Unorthodox" was an amazing bit of filmmaking, for which Shapiro and Hass deserve far more awards than they are likely to be given. (BTW, I hope you secured permission to use an image from that film. I don't know much about the technicalities involved, but I know Medium insists on compliance with copyright restrictions.) Yes, the scene in which Esty is penetrated and impregnated is a sad and painful one, but what made is even sadder to me was that it need not have been that way. Her husband clearly loved her, and she him, but neither had been given any practical instruction to prepare them for sex. He seemed to think the penis and vagina would know how to fit together on their own, and Esty didn't know how to tell him how else to approach her. The community had failed them.

Retired psychologist, wordsmith, teacher, MFA candidate. Buy me coffee: ko-fi.com/edrobson. ecrobson@gmail.com

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