What are you, a socialist? The economy exists to make rich people richer, just like it did in that country we came here to get away from. And money exists so that the people who have more than they can spend, can squirrel it away to keep it from doing anybody any good.

The pricing on colonoscopies is even more bizarre than it sounds. It's free (meaning 100% covered) under many insurance plans, as long as it's a screening procedure. However, if they find any polyps, then it ceases to be a screening and becomes instead a diagnostic procedure, so by the time you come out from under the anesthesia, you're on the hook for your portion of an $800 fee. What's more, all your future follow-ups will be diagnostic as well.

That's why, unless I get a chance to get it done in some country with a civilized health care system, I'm sticking to Cologuard. And keeping my fingers crossed.