There is a lot to be said for your attitude. And as long as it works for you and your partner, that's really all that matters.

That said, as you yourself acknowledge, no one else should feel compelled to emulate your policy, lest they feel coerced and possibly diminish their joy in sex.

To me, as much as I like getting an enthusiastic "Yes!" to my advances, I value the occasional "Thanks for asking but not tonight."

Why? Because it proves my partner feels empowered to say no. And because it proves that, when she does say yes, she's saying it because she genuinely wants to.

Retired psychologist, wordsmith, teacher, MFA candidate. Buy me coffee:

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