Thank you, Karen, for this beautiful response. This is why I write, in hopes of bringing clarity to jumbled thoughts within myself that must reflect the experience of others like me.

There are churches where your spiritual quest would be honored and supported. Both Christian (UCC and most other mainline protestant denominations other than Southern Baptist) and non-Christian (especially Unitarian Universalist — all the humanistic principles, no creeds). Not that one must have a church, but I’ve always found comfort in having that kind of extended family.