Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Kitty. It took me longer to realize my place was on the outside, since I'd had so many positive experiences in liberal congregations (Presbyterian, Episcopal, UCC). But it looks like we ended up in very similar places.

BTW, I finally found a community that had the good parts without the conservative associations, in a UU Fellowship. About 30% of the congregation are atheists, and nearly all of us are humanists.