Thank you, Coco Joan, for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and insightful response.

Several of the comments when this article was published helped me to see that I was describing the situation very much from the male point of view. I was reminded of the teenage dating (or dancing partner) dilemma, where the boys and the girls each think the other has it easy. All HE has to do is ask. All SHE has to do is wait to be asked.

You have laid out the psychological problem most astutely here, and with it the root of most consent-related misunderstandings on the woman's side. The system is FUBAB from every angle, even more so now that the presumed goal (marriage) is regarded with well-justified suspicion by Gen Z.

If I were still actively partner shopping, the only women I would consider asking out would be the ones I knew as friends already.