I'm not exactly ashamed of being cis and male, not as much as I am of being white and American. But I often wonder whether the sad cluelessness you speak of is on the Y chromosome, or whether it is in the way we men are socialized.
When I grow up, I want to be AOC. Or Malala Yousafzai or Emma Gonzalez. Who can't find female heroes and role models in today's world?
You make many important points here regarding sex roles, choices, and relationships. Much admiration. I'll be reading more of you.