I think you've done a nice job here of teasing out the essential truth within a term that's been corrupted lately. And not just corrupted, but coopted for use by the anti-feminist rearguard as it resists our culture's healthy evolution.

As you say, the phrase is being used in defense of toxic masculinity, when in fact it is the flip side of the same disease. Toxic femininity is rare in feminists, as it derives from and supports the worst parts of the patriarchy.