I think that's exactly it, Patricia. They've experienced rejection, painfully and/or repeatedly, and don't want to keep going back for more.

One thing I learned as a therapist was that people often want permission to give up. There's comfort in believing your problem can't be fixed, because it's easier to sulk and blame than to keep working on yourself and risking failure every day.

Many of these young men are extremely depressed. Not a few are suicidal, and a frightening number post femicidal fantasies.