I married a classmate in my doctoral program in clinical psychology. We were married 25 years, have 2 bright and beautiful children, and are still good friends 17 years post-divorce. She was of West Indian parents, but our racial differences just didn't seem as important to us as the quality of our connection. Were we naive?

I believe in dating only friends, since dates with strangers tend to be corrupted by impression management. True love grows from trust and mutual admiration, and stable marriages from shared values and compatible temperaments. That's the stuff of solid friendship.

But unless we limit our friendships to same-race, then we must be prepared to deal with the possibility that someone "different" may become a bestie, and from there the friendship may catch fire. And when given a chance to share life with your best friend, would you say no because of race?