I imagine you'll get some grief for this being kind of pollyanna, but there's actually some good psychology behind it. Memories are always part imagination--mental recreations of events, not actual recordings--and we gain some power over them when we imagine them from other angles or envision ways they might have turned out differently.

Part of what makes consent so complicated is the screwed-up gender roles we're taught, and how we're pressured by our culture to see anyone we find attractive as a sexual possibility before we see them as a potential friend. There'd be much less confusion if we all slowed down a bit.

Retired psychologist, wordsmith, teacher, MFA candidate. Buy me coffee: ko-fi.com/edrobson. ecrobson@gmail.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store