Hello, Dr. Bidoski,

Thank you for your thoughtful--and thorough--response to my comment. Please allow me to apologize for suggesting disrespect by the tone or wording of my comment; that was certainly not my intention or desire.

I'm afraid you have me dead to rights, guilty of overgeneralizing, and guilty of assuming you had not thought carefully about your optimistic conclusion. I should not have assumed you meant it to be taken as a literal statement of probability.

As the Reddit crowd is fond of saying, "Your mileage may vary." Some couples do achieve healthy and happy long-term relationships, with or without a marriage license. What's more, not all divorces represent marital failure; some marriages may thrive for decades before dissolving for any number of causes. My second wife and I, despite our painful break-up, are good friends now and regard our 24-year marriage as a successful one and have no regrets about undertaking it.

Nonetheless, it is my opinion that marriage--at this point in human history--is a failing institution and a particularly risky proposition for women, who are often blinded by romantic love and imagine that a mutual commitment represents security. As a feminist (meaning I regard women's rights and welfare as equal in importance to men's) I would argue that the institution as currently practiced supports the patriarchy, exploiting women's labor while giving them no protection in return.

IMO the root problem is not marriage itself but our modern approach to doing family. Two adults simply aren't enough to stand up to the pressures and demands of life these days, especially when the stress of parenting is added. Their odds are better if they are both emotionally mature, psychologically resilient, and financially fortunate, but even then they won't have the stability of the multi-generational extended household of 100 years ago.

In conclusion, while I agree that life is lived by individuals, not institutions, and the individual can and often does overcome the odds, I think we need to do due diligence in describing the situation both qualitatively and quantitatively.

It's a pleasure to exchange perspectives with you. I wish you all the best.

Ed Robson