Great essay, covering difficult and obviously painful ground. As my friend Yael observed, you are a fine writer, and your ability to open up about your vulnerabilities adds great appeal to your writing.
Consent is, of course, a 2-way street. But we condition boys and men to believe they're supposed to be ready to jump any willing woman at any time. And we condition women to believe--if they're sufficiently attractive--they have a right to sex with any man they choose. Sad situation, and Tinder isn't helping.
Stand your ground, Sailor. You have a right to hold out for someone ready to engage your mind and heart, and to proceed at a pace that suits you both.