Good observations, Eichy! Psychologists prefer the term "narcissism" over "ego," but it's the same concept--an attribute that can be healthy or pathological. A healthy self-esteem is grounded in humility and balanced by an awareness that others' needs and feelings are important, too.

The question of where ego/narcissism intersects with gender is a fraught one. As you aptly point out, women are just as capable of narcissistic excesses as men, and it is differences in socialization that leads to the generally better social skills and less toxicity and abuse we see in them. But that's my favorite soapbox--why it's so hard to find grown-up men these days--so I'll avoid the temptation to say more about it.

I'm old enough to remember when humility was regarded as a virtue (and specifically a "Christian" virtue) rather than a weakness for others to exploit.