Forget dating sites. Forget “dating,” for that matter. Dating sites are for people who want to hook up with strangers. The profiles and the dates are mostly an exercise in impression management. It’s not the kind of thing you’re likely to be good at. You might get lucky there — meaning you might get laid — but it’s far more likely you’ll meet someone who will take advantage of you, spend your money, and break your heart.

Likewise flirting. Flirting is a social game. It’s a way of showing yourself off as someone desirable and potentially available, but without committing yourself to saying whether or not you’re interested in the person you’re trying to charm. It takes years to learn to do it well, not to mention loads of self-confidence and skill at reading subtle cues. Your energy is better spent on meeting people and letting them see who you really are. Oh yes, and practice meeting people’s eyes and smiling. Sincere friendliness will pay off where flirting falls flat.

Focus on making friends, and trust that some of those friends will be single women who will grow to appreciate you for the unique individual you are.

Scroll down through my articles for one entitled “5 Reasons Dating is a Waste of Time.”

Retired psychologist, wordsmith, teacher, MFA candidate. Buy me coffee:

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