I guess I'm an outlier, even for my generation. The way I think about it, a sexual relationship is sexual 24/7. Not just the kisses, cuddles, eyebrow-lifts across a crowded room, and backscratch/footrub pleasurings, but errands, arguments, and sleep.
To have and be a lover--to be half of the beast with two backs--is inextricable from my self-awareness and self-definition. It certainly does not begin with penetration or end with ejaculation.