Don't know me? Say it isn't so. I do live down the street from you and from the BB, and I speak enough Spanish to translate some Neruda: "Full woman, carnal apple, sultry moon," (Sonnet 1). But I can't counsel friends unless there's alcohol involved.

Don't mention that letter again. First warning. Total buzzkill.

I talk about whatever I can't do. And cuss a lot, though I refuse to ejaculate clichés except in character.