As one who wants to start with friendship before getting into dating, I have to wonder if attraction might have grown if given just a bit more time.

Immediate attraction, I think, has a lot to do with past associations. We decide we only like someone who fits our "type," which may be based on long-forgotten people we admired as children.

Please don't take me wrong--I'm not questioning your choices. No one should have to justify decisions in their personal life. But I think the way we do the dating thing puts too much weight on superficial qualities and not enough on building friendships with potential to grow into more.

Retired psychologist, wordsmith, teacher, MFA candidate. Buy me coffee:

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