Absolutely, Judith. There are exchanges of many kinds in every warm relationship. And sometimes we may choose to make them explicitly transactional, especially when they involve items of significant monetary value.

But those explicit transactions highlight my point, that most of what we offer one another are the products of our love. Gifts, in other words. Not appraised or negotiated, not given in the hope of something being given back, but given just because it gives us joy to be able to make our friend's life happier. Friends don't keep score, aside from keeping track of whose turn it is to pay for lunch.

This is part of why I don't like dating as now practiced in most places. It encourages transactional thinking. I think what we need is apps to help us find potential friends, and patience to let those friendships bear what fruit they will. The real exchange that matters is time for time, touch for touch, trust for trust.