A more nuanced understanding of sex is long overdue, along with a view of masculinity and femininity that does not assume those concepts are equivalent to male and female.

I opted out of sex in a marriage because I was being verbally and psychologically abused, and because my sexual desire was being used to manipulate me. Saying no--permanently--was the only way I could regain some shred of self-respect.

The sexual acts I most miss now are kissing and cuddling, along with the experience of being in love.